Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Play-a-Day #2: Uniforms

See also Rachel, who is doing a similar NonNaNoWriMo thing with composing pieces of music.

(A box arrives.)

RAYBURN: Oh boy, our brand new Starfleet uniforms!

(The three open the box and rummage in it, and pull out shirts with the Starfleet insignia.)

DARNELL: Mine's blue!

TOMLINSON: Mine's yellow!

RAYBURN: Mine's red!

(DARNELL and TOMLINSON cough uneasily, and sidestep away from RAYBURN.)

RAYBURN: Oh, very good. Top notch observational comedy there, guys. This hasn't been done to death for forty years, at all.

TOMLINSON: You mean three hundred and forty years?

RAYBURN: It's superstitious nonsense, anyhow. All that stuff about the guy in the red shirt dying first.

DARNELL: You know what they say, Rayburn. There's no smoke without crazy rubber lizardmen slaughtering disposable supporting characters.

RAYBURN: There are 42 deaths in the original series. Only 25 of those people were wearing red at the time. And two of those were just boilersuits. That's barely half! It's not enough data to go on.

TOMLINSON: We're not saying you're dead for sure. We're just saying... maybe it's time to get your affairs in order. Write a will, absolve yourself with as many religions as possible, that sort of thing.

DARNELL: Run up a few debts. Phone some relatives you hate, make 'em say things they'll regret forever.

RAYBURN: (Snaps fingers) Montgomery Scott. Scotty wears a red shirt, and he survived three television series, eight films, a guest appearance in Next Generation and edited in to a time-travel DS9. He wasn't even the first of the actors to die.

DARNELL: Just... take care on your landing missions. Especially if you wind up with three main cast members who start talking to you as if they've suddenly known you for ages.

TOMLINSON: You weren't the Captain's best friend at the Academy, were you?

RAYBURN: I don't think so.

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